Lies We Keep Read online

  “We shouldn’t do this…”

  His eyes were still closed when he spoke, and he shook his head, his skin lightly grazing mine.

  “For once in your life, Blakely, don’t think about the consequences. Just be here. Now. With me.”

  His eyes now burned into mine, and I saw the moment he decided to have me. The desire giving way burned brightly within them.

  He carried me and laid me down. He climbed the bed, planting soft kisses on my skin as he made his way toward me. His hand trailed my curves, leaving goose bumps in its wake. When he reached my waist, he slid his arm behind my back, and I arched toward him, pushing my skin against his. He kissed the curves of my breasts before pulling away, looking at me.

  “Are you sure?” he asked, sincerity in his eyes.

  I nodded without hesitation. I needed this. I needed him.

  He leaned forward to kiss me. His tongue greedily explored my mouth, and I quivered at the sensations building within me. This man was a god. His kiss, his touch, left me wanting so much more.

  I hiked up my legs and pulled down his underwear with my feet, kicking them to the floor. His hand found my panties, and in one swift motion, he ripped them off, tossing the shreds of fabric to the ground. I winced at the sensation. It left my skin raw, vulnerable, and it was oddly erotic.

  Pulling away, he slid his hand down the length of my stomach. I closed my eyes at the sensation, dragging my teeth against my lower lip.

  “Open your eyes, Jezebel.”

  His voice was calm, controlling. It was an order, and I eagerly obeyed.

  Lightly, he brushed his fingertips against the sensitive bundle of nerves that throbbed at my core. I gasped, and his finger moved lower, reaching my center.

  He groaned, his eyes darkening with need.

  “You’re already ready for me,” he said.

  He trailed kisses across my collarbone and up the curve of my neck. I gasped.

  “I love how responsive you are to me.”

  “Yes,” I whispered, pulling him closer to me, urging his fingers to travel deeper.

  His fingers curled within me until they reached a spot so deep, so hidden, I thought no one would ever find it. I dug my fingers into his skin, and he shifted. The palm of his hand rubbed against me while his fingers teased the perfect spot inside me. I closed my eyes, arching my back. His mouth found my nipple and sucked, his tongue playfully stroking the hardened tips. The dual sensation sent me to the edge, and I was begging to fall.

  “Come for me, Jezebel.”

  His breath was hot against my aching breast.

  The sound of my name on his lips sent me over the edge.

  “Oh, fuck!” I cried out.

  My release came in waves, my body stiffening. I dug my fingers against him, holding him tightly until the final wave of release passed. Slowly, I opened my eyes and looked down at him.

  “Your turn,” I said with a smile, pushing him off me as I straddled him.

  He grasped my hips and rubbed his hardened length against me. I rested my hands against his chest, steadying myself against him as another orgasm threatened to consume me. My head rolled back, and my eyes fluttered shut. My wetness coated him as he teased me by gliding my hips up and down his length. The room was dark. I hadn’t yet seen him fully nude, but the time it took for him to slide me from one end to the other told me his dick was massive, and this would also be the best fuck of my life. It took what little control I had to not arch my hips and let him slip inside.

  My core clenched, my legs stiffening. I was close to another release.

  “Fuck me. I’m going to come again.”

  I was breathless, needy, and completely ready to do whatever he asked of me.

  “Slowly,” he said.

  I opened my eyes, confused. Before I could decipher his cryptic message, he angled my hips, resting the tip of him against my core. I swallowed hard, nodding. Slowly, I lowered myself onto him. Scratching my nails against his skin, I winced at the immediate shock of something so thick entering me.

  “Fuck,” I whispered.

  Sitting up, he stopped me from continuing my descent. He sat there, half in, half out, and brushed away the hair that clung to my forehead. I hadn’t realized I’d started to sweat. A single drip trailed down the curve of his cheekbone, and I wondered if the physical exertion was due to the heat, the sex, or our control. We were both breathing heavily as we stared into each other’s eyes. I leaned forward and kissed him softly.

  “Are you okay?” he asked. His breath was hot on my lips.

  I nodded. “I want more. I want all of you.” I wiggled my hips, hoping to coax him into me even more.

  “Slowly,” he repeated.

  He released my hips, letting me take back control.

  “I don’t want it slow. I want it hard, fast. I want to scream.”

  He smiled as he leaned back until he was flat against the bed.

  “Trust me, every inch of me will fuck you tonight, but I’m big, and you’re tight,” he said, rolling my hips in his hand. “You need to get used to me first.”

  I bit my lip and continued the slow descent. When he was finally rooted in me, I shifted my hips and slowly rose from him. Releasing only a few inches, I lowered myself onto him again. I continued to ride him, at this ridiculous, agonizing speed, until I couldn’t take it anymore. I leaned forward, resting both hands against his chest, and quickened my pace. He matched my efforts with quick thrusts of his hips, our chests heaving in unison. I angled my hips, letting him hit that deep spot no one had ever found before.

  “Fuck, yes. Right there.” I closed my eyes. “Right. There.”

  He grabbed my hips tighter, pounding into me. His legs tensed beneath me, and I knew he was close to his release.

  “Don’t stop,” I said breathlessly. “Please don’t stop.”

  With one hand leaning against his chest, I grabbed onto my breast with the other, rolling my hardened nipple between two fingers.

  “Fuck, Jezebel,” he whispered.

  I opened my eyes to find him watching me play with myself. I brought my hand to my mouth, slowly sucked on the two fingers, and grabbed my nipple.

  “You like that?” I asked.

  He didn’t say anything.

  “Like it when I touch myself?” I continued.

  His muscles flexed as he fucked me harder, seemingly putting everything he had into it. I dropped my breast to steady myself, leaning against him. With his name on my lips, I came long and hard. His release matched mine, and I felt him fill me. I fell forward, resting against him. After I caught my breath, I rolled off him, wincing as he pulled out of me.

  I would definitely feel this in the morning.

  “That was—” he whispered.

  “Incredible,” I finished.

  He smiled, pulling me closer to him. I snuggled against him, resting my head on his chest. My eyes were heavy, and I was losing my battle to keep them open.

  “Sleep with me tonight?” I asked.

  He kissed my forehead and covered us with the blankets.

  My head throbbed, my core ached, but I had never felt safer or at peace. I placed a soft kiss on his chest and let darkness consume me.

  I woke to the sound of Manhattan traffic blaring outside the window. Even three stories up, I couldn’t escape it.

  “Fuck this city,” I mumbled.

  The throbbing in my head only intensified when I opened my eyes, so I quickly snapped them shut again. A crash in the kitchen had me peeking through my eyelashes. Blakely wasn’t in the room, but the smell of breakfast wafted toward me. My stomach grumbled. I craved hangover food even more than I craved last night’s dick.

  I stumbled into the bathroom, slowly moving through my routine with the lights off. Showering in the dark proved tricky, but I refused to cave. I cursed the invention of the LED lights my eyeballs couldn’t handle.

  I thought about the millions of people who partied every night. Why would anyone willingly do this eve
ry day?

  Shutting off the water, I plodded into my bedroom, threw on some sweats, and found my way into the kitchen, where Tara was cheerfully making breakfast. Music played from her cell phone, and she shook her hips to the beat. Humming softly, she flipped a pancake in the air and caught it with the pan. I rolled my eyes.

  Morning people were really fucking annoying.

  I glanced at the clock on the microwave. 1:13. My jaw nearly hit the floor. I slept until one-fucking-thirteen? I scanned the room for Blakely, but he wasn’t here. Instead, I found a label-less glass bottle filled with a greenish-orange liquid and four brown pills. There were two yellow sticky notes above them. Drink me. Take me. I popped the pills into my mouth and took a swig of the juice.

  Blech!

  The juice was disgusting. I slammed the bottle against the counter, startling Tara out of her dance marathon.

  “You’re awake!” she yelled.

  I winced, throwing up my arms to shield me from her words.

  “Quietly,” I whispered.

  “Yeah, Mr. Blakely said you’d be hung over.”

  I peeked at her through lashes. She was shaking her head.

  “Save your ridicule, Tara. And what is this shit?” I said, pointing to the bottle of juice.

  She shrugged, dropping pancakes onto a plate.

  “Some top-secret government hangover cure, I guess.”

  She scooped some eggs onto the plate, tossed on some bacon, and set the plate in front of me.

  “Bon appétit!”

  I grabbed the fork, took a bite of eggs, and said, “Well, it tastes like ass.”

  She smiled. “He said you’d say that. He also said to force-feed it to you if you don’t drink it willingly.”

  I rolled my eyes, swallowed my mouthful of food, and took a swig of the disgusting drink.

  “He said you should down it quickly, and before you know it, you’ll be good as new.”

  I groaned, plugged my nose, and finished the drink.

  “Yummy,” I said sarcastically. “So where is Mr. Sunshine?”

  She shrugged. “Said he had to run errands.”

  “Errands?” I questioned.

  “He told me to stay here with you and to let you sleep in. Looks like you had a long night, eh?”

  I knew that tone. That was her I-have-something-on-Jez tone.

  “We fucked.”

  I figured admitting I had a problem was the first step to her minding her own business.

  “I knew it! I found you in his bed, and I knew you slept with him. Honestly, Jezebel, how could you?”

  I arched an eyebrow. “Huh. That wasn’t nearly as annoying as it should have been. What’s in that miracle shit?” I picked up the empty bottle and gave it a once-over. Finding nothing, I set it back down.

  “Oh, no, no, no. You’re not changing the subject that easily. You slept with him? Have you lost your mind?”

  “Please, not you too. I don’t need another Debby downer.”

  “He’s your employee, Jez. That’s sexual harassment!”

  Huh. I hadn’t thought of it like that. I took a mouthful of pancakes and said, “See, that’s why I keep you around. You think of the important stuff.” I winked.

  “No, I just think with my brain and not my emotions. This was a huge mistake, Jez.” She shook her head. “I mean, I’m sure he’s not going to sue you—”

  “He enjoyed himself. Trust me.” I brushed away her concern with the wave of my hand.

  “That’s not the point, Jez, and you know it. I knew hiring him would cause problems. We just need him to keep you alive until we figure out who the stalker is.”

  “And in the meantime, I’m going to enjoy my guard.” I wiggled my eyebrows as I took the last bite of my breakfast. “Delish as always, Tara. Thanks.”

  “When this comes back to bite you in the ass, I will be there to tell you ‘I told you so.’”

  I ignored her as I cleaned up the kitchen, feeling one hundred times better than I had when I woke up. Apparently, Blakely’s shit-drink was magic in a bottle.

  “Jez?”

  I turned after putting the last dish in the dishwasher and wiped my hands on a towel as our eyes met.

  “I’m glad you found him,” she said.

  I dropped the hand towel onto the counter and offered a small smile.

  “Maybe he found me.”

  I’d been alone for so long. It was difficult to remember my life before the accident that claimed my parents and my innocence. Now, I was nothing like that girl, and in truth, I hated remembering her. But something about Blakely kept bringing her back to the forefront of my memory.

  I wasn’t sure why she waited there for me, but I knew, soon, even the comforting safety blanket of time wouldn’t stand between us.

  Tara had fallen asleep on the couch by the time Blakely finally returned. I smiled at him from the floor, where I sat while we watched yet another Gilmore Girls marathon. Tara once told me I was obsessed with this series because of the mother-daughter bond the main characters had. I, too, had a similar bond with my mom, and this was Tara’s way of attempting to get me to talk about her. I’d ignore her pleas to open up while turning up the television’s volume.

  Noticing Tara snoring softly on the couch, Blakely motioned for me to join him in another room.

  “What’s up?” I asked when we reached his bedroom.

  “How’re you feeling?” he asked. He searched my features, as if looking for signs of a lie.

  I smiled. “Fine. Your drink tasted like ass, but it worked fairly quickly.”

  He nodded. “Good.”

  “No need to check in on me, Blakely. I’m a big girl.”

  The words escaped me before I thought them through, and truth was, I liked that he cared. The only person who’d cared for me all these years was Tara. I liked knowing I could add another name to that list.

  “It’s my job to care about your well-being, Miss Tate.”

  Fuck. He was back to being Mr. Professional.

  “I think it’s time we were on a single-name basis, Blakely. After all, we did fuck.”

  His jaw clenched, and I admired the bulge. I’d never been one to notice jaw lines and facial muscles before, but now, every single time Blakely did it, I found it sexy as hell.

  “Perhaps we shouldn’t broadcast that so loudly.”

  “Why? Tara knows.”

  “You told her?” he asked, eyes widening.

  “Well, yeah. She’s my best friend. Plus, she found me sleeping in your bed. It doesn’t take a genius to do that math.”

  He exhaled sharply, running a hand through his hair.

  “Why does it matter?” I asked.

  “I prefer it if we kept that aspect of our—relationship—between you and me.”

  “Because?” I crossed my arms over my chest. I couldn’t hold back my anger. I kept secrets from the world every day, but suddenly, the thought of keeping Blakely a secret irked me.

  “Because until you decide whether you want another bodyguard, I’m all you have. I need to remain focused on your surroundings, not your… assets.”

  I nodded. “Fine. I’ll make sure Tara knows this is ‘top secret’ information.” I added air quotes for emphasis.

  I turned on my heel to walk away, but he caught my arm, pulling me back to him. I stumbled toward him, stopping short of making contact. I glanced up, meeting his gaze.

  “Don’t read into this, Jezebel,” he said.

  “How could I? You’re not exactly the I-wear-my-emotions-on-my-sleeves type. I never know what you’re thinking, so how could I read into this?”

  I thought after last night, he’d be done playing games.

  “Jezebel—”

  “I mean, we had sex. What’s the big fucking deal?”

  “I don’t want to argue about this.”

  “No, you’d rather avoid it. I know you want me, Blakely. I can see it when you look at me, when you touch me. Why can’t you just admit that?”


  “Because if I admit that, this relationship will continue, but it needs to end here.”

  I stood on my tiptoes. Our lips were only a few inches apart now.

  “Don’t tell me you didn’t enjoy it.”

  Swallowing hard, he said nothing.

  “You liked it. You liked fucking me, sliding your dick in nice and slow until you were rooted so fucking deeply I wanted to scream. You liked it when I sucked my fingers and played with my nipples. You liked it when I rode you fast and hard. You liked it when I screamed your name while I came. I fucking rocked your world, and at least one of us can admit it.”

  I ripped my arm from his grasp, spun on my heel, and began to storm out of his room, but when I reached the door, Blakely wrapped an arm around my waist and pushed me up against the wall. With one hand on my hip, the other slid under my panties and caressed my core. I gasped, my head rolling back to rest against his chest. He ground his hardening erection against my ass. His breath was hot on my neck.

  “Is this what you want?” he asked.

  Closing my eyes, I gripped the wall with one hand and the back of his neck with the other. “Yes, please.”

  He slid a finger between my folds, nearly lifting me off the ground with each deep thrust into my depths. I bit my lip to keep from crying out.

  “Don’t wake Tara,” he said, though it sounded more like an order.

  He placed gentle kisses against the curve of my neck before biting down on my shoulder. The stubble on his jaw scratched against my sensitive skin, and I gasped.

  “Fuck.”

  “Tell me what you want, Jezebel.”

  So many things. I wanted so many fucking things.

  I wanted him inside me.

  I wanted to taste him.

  I wanted him to taste me.

  I opened my eyes.

  “I want your mouth,” I said, leaning forward, resting my forehead against the wall as he continued to fuck me with his fingers.

  He kneeled behind me, placing a kiss at the curve of my lower back, and then licked the length of my spine with the tip of his tongue. When he reached my hairline, he bit down softly.

  Fuck! This man knew how to arouse a woman.

  Much to my dismay, he freed his hand and spun me to face him. With my back pressed against the wall, I watched as he sucked the slickness from his fingers. When he was done, he pulled me into a quick, hard kiss before dropping to his knees. He pulled down my pants, freeing just one leg. I leaned against the wall and balanced on one leg, resting the other against his shoulder. He looked up at me, dragging his teeth against his bottom lip, before turning his attention to my core. I ran my hands through his hair, tugging on the ends, pushing his head against me as his tongue worked me. He licked and sucked and flicked, drawing me closer and closer to the edge.